Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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