My girlfriend figured out who you are.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.