I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog