i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.