Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face