Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize