Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
high people should be assigned attendants
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Found the puke drawer
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
