Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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