i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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