i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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