you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
