only you would photoshop your dick
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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