I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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