we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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