even my farts smell like vagina
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
