I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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