Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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