my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
