I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
