and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
