Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize