How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
