it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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