He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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