make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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