so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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