also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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