If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
