Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
