Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
