i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize