LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
