I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
