You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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