Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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