i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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