My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
