Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
