you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
