Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
