get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
