Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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