I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
We have so much sex to catch up on
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
