elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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