i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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