I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize