I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
