I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my liver is dry heaving
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
