bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Welp...herpes.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
