Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
