just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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