is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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