Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm jealous of your bromance
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
