Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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