so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
