I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
