Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
