this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
